I’ve started tweeting

It’s quite fun, and yes, I feel trendy. For hockey news, new vampire fiction “stuff,” and questions you’d never thought about before, follow me.

When you follow me, you can expect tweets like this:

If you’re talking to someone, gesturing wildly, and your arm goes up and smacks someone walking by, who’s more embarrassed? You, or the hitee?

Is that 140 characters? Awww, sheeeeet.

What happened to Anita Blake?

For the past month or so, I’ve been glued to the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton, which currently has about 16 books in the set. About halfway through the series, everything goes straight to porn.

Anita Blake is a vampire hunter, necromancer, and by the time we get to the 16th book, kind of a whore. She started out as a kick-ass female of near role-model quality. Didn’t hesitate to shoot or hurt someone if she was in danger or someone she cared about was in danger.

But all the steamy stories evaporated any trace of plot … or Anita herself. The woman that had sort of represented a better Buffy, if you will, was subjugated to sex with multiple partners of different variety–vampire, werewolf, wereleopard, etc. No problem with beastiality here.

Please, do not start reading the series. It’s just not worth it; you’ll feel like you have to keep reading with the hopes that maybe Hamilton has woken up to see the error of her ways. I don’t know what she’s watching to make her write like this. The only thing I can figure? Lots of porn.

I’ve just tried to recognize that her writing style is out of my hands and shouldn’t be in my Kindle.

Dusk graphic novel – vampires!

This is overdue, but to be fair, it’s the first graphic novel I’ve ever read.

Dusk, written and created by David Doub, features two main characters, Ash and Eve. Ash is a vampire, and Eve is a sort of vampire hunter (but formerly typical human) who appears to be in love with Ash and his blood.

With four chapters, we discover in a way how Ash and Eve met (she was attacked by a vampire, and he later saved her, presumably after she became addicted to blood). Ash offers Eve a chance to leave her old life behind and start anew, but she stays with him. The fourth chapter, maybe because of my amateur knowledge of graphic novels, doesn’t seem to relate to the main story.

In fact, the story is a little hard to follow. Perhaps there are certain innate things in a graphic novel that are automatically known. For example, many familiar with such a medium may know what type of graphics indicate that what you’re reading is a dream. There was quite a learning curve. It should be noted, however, that the reviews on Amazon.com are really glowing, so maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, I’d liked to have seen a more linear storyline covering all four chapters, but c’est la vie. The art really is fantastic, very impressive. If you’re a fan of vampire fiction and graphic novels, give it a try. From what I understand, Doub and company are currently working on Volume 2.

Kid freak out

People have said this is fake. It can’t be. I saw that German kid when his computer game wouldn’t work. This is World of Warcraft. I don’t know what that means except I think the Warcraft people are the epitome of crazy.

I’ll give you a hint: that remote is going somewhere interesting. I’m just saying.

I knew it. Sharks are stalkers.

Yet another reason not to go in the water … I’m always young and alone.

Go blog

That’s not a directive, it’s a hey, you go girl [replace girl with blog].

I like this. Now, you like it.

Buffet etiquette

Gluttony is a sin, you know. I know that because of Brad Pitt.

I recently discovered that at buffet lines, people are more likely to think that if the person in front of you takes two of everything, it’s okay.

Friends don’t let friends pick out so much food that their plate looks like the mountain from “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

Jesus = lady liberty?

Recently, I prayed about something and when I did it, I thought of Jesus but instead of picturing the Jesus that everyone knows and loves, for some reason, I imagined praying to this:

Maybe it’s because my uncle looks like Jesus. Like this, but more realistic:

Twist

Finding a conceptual photo for "twist" didn't work very well.

30 Rock is probably one of the funniest shows on TV, and more than once, I’ve found myself wanting to use a catch phrase (word?) from the show.

So, when something happens that you didn’t expect, say “twist.” For example, your mother tells you that the man you thought was your father really isn’t. Ooooh, twist. For more examples, check out the 30 Rock episode, “Mamma Mia.”

But, you have to say it like you’re an actor on a soap opera. Breathy, surprised, and a little evilly.

Recommended vampire books/series

In my experience as a reader, vampire fiction is generally pretty good–the subject matter is very attractive for the writer. There’s the teen angle and the more adult genre, but since I like both, I thought I’d put together a list of all series and individual vampire novels that I would recommend (and some I would not).

Young Adult Vampire Fiction

Twilight Series – 4 books — A+

by Stephenie Meyer

Really, this is the first series I’d read on vampires. In the young adult genre, the writers focus on tension, storyline, and are usually successful at creating a quality product. For Twilight, I still remember what songs I was listening to around the time I was reading.

The Morganville Vampire Series — 5 books so far (book six in June) — B

by Rachel Caine

Vampires own the humans in this series, and the humans pay taxes in blood

House of Night Series – 5 books so far — B-

by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast

Small town with a sort of boarding school for almost-vampires who either become vampires or die.

Vampire Academy Series — 3 books so far (book four in August) — A

by Richelle Mead

In this twisty series, half human/half vampires are trained as teenagers to protect full-blood vampires from renegade evil vampires.

Vampire Kisses Series – 5 books so far (book six in May) — C

by Ellen Schreiber

Teen meets vampire, falls in love … rather quickly, might I add. And for some reason, the male main character seems like he would look like the son of Gene Simmons.

Night World Series — 3 books so far — B (could be an “A” but as soon as you begin to invest in one storyline, it’s gone)

by L.J. Smith

I don’t know if I’d call it a series because each novel seems to contain three different stories that include different characters but that are mentioned in other books. But, vampires, werewolves, witches, they’re all in the night world, and the stories follow humans that get involved with the world in various ways.

Very Adult Vampire Series

Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Series – 9 books so far — A-

by Charlaine Harris

Ideal for TV and is currently on TV in the form of HBO’s True Blood. With its serialized-type mysteries but general overarching themes, it’s good stuff.

Blood Ties Series — 4 books — B+

by Jennifer Armintrout

Newly turned vampire struggles to choose between joining a vampire movement which is sworn to kill all vampires that do not join or go her own way.

The Little Goddess Series — 3 books — C

by Amy Lane

A human falls in love with a vampire and a type of fairy, and chaos insues. I don’t know if it’s just my Kindle, but the writing seems a little inconsistent, quality-wise.

Betsy the Vampire Queen Series – 7 books (book eight in June) — A (if you want major sarcasm in your vampire fic)

by Mary Janice Davidson

 A humorous look at a newly changed vampire, who is destined to become queen of all vampires, despite her reluctance and her desire to just hang out and be a girly girl.